July 27, 2014

Let's Talk About 2014 Topps Heritage High Numbers

We're a few months away, but I've started thinking about the 2014 Topps Heritage High Numbers set. Will it be an online-only factory set, or released in packs? Who will be included? Who will be overlooked? If we use the 2013 installment as a template, it's probable that each team will be represented, with somewhere between one and five cards apiece.

 Much like the "traded" sets from back in the day, the high-numbers set is mostly a showcase of young players and XRCs—although with so many draft, prospects, and minor league sets these days, there are virtually zero players who could have an XRC—with fewer traded veterans in their new uniforms. It's also a way for Topps to produce cards of players not included in the regular series. But with a checklist of only 100 cards, Topps has to be choosy about who's represented.

That said, here's a quick list of 25 players who may be part of Heritage High Numbers for 2014:

1. Masahiro Tanaka, New York Yankees
2. George Springer, Houston Astros
3. Jose Abreu, Chicago White Sox
4. Marcus Stroman, Toronto Blue Jays
5. Mookie Betts, Boston Red Sox
6. Brock Holt, Boston Red Sox
7. Jake Peavy, San Francisco Giants
8. Chase Headley, New York Yankees
9. Rougned Odor, Texas Rangers
10. Kevin Kiermaier, Tampa Bay Rays
11. C.J. Cron, LA Angels
12. Yangveris Solarte, San Diego Padres
13. Gregory Polanco, Pittsburgh Pirates
14. Tommy La Stella, Atlanta Braves
15. Jacob deGrom, New York Mets
16. Jake Petricka, Chicago White Sox
17. Joakim Soria, Detroit Tigers
18. Huston Street, LA Angels
19. Brandon McCarthy, New York Yankees
20. Jeff Samardzjia, Oakland Athletics
21. Ike Davis, Pittsburgh Pirates
22. Jose Lobaton, Washington Nationals
23. Nelson Cruz, Baltimore Orioles
24. Dellin Betances, New York Yankees

25. Oscar Taveras, St. Louis Cardinals

July 12, 2014

The World Needs a Retro Donruss Studio Set

Topps can conjure nostalgia for a wave of collectors just by opening a random file cabinet in its overstuffed HQ and producing a legacy design series like Archives or Heritage. And yet, the 13-year-old in me still thinks that nothing beats 1991's "sophisticated," "artistic," and high-cheese-quotient Studio. So tell us, Donruss: What's stopping you from jumping into the retro deep end with both feet?

Here's what I'm looking for:

1. Tasteful black and white photography of men with mullets. I understand that standard baseball hair fashion these days consists of goatees, mountain-man beards, and Mohawk variations, so you might want to stock a few mullet wigs with your photography equipment.

2. Hats optional. And actually, without a MLB license, I'd even accept a 225-card series of players in street clothes, or warmup shirts. Or even Ebbets Field Flannels jerseys of forgotten PCL teams.

3. Autographed buy-backs of Ramon Martinez, Steve Lake, Roger McDowell, Sammy Sosa, Jeff Bagwell, and Kevin Belcher. Really, it would need a 25-to-30-player autographed buy-back checklist featuring the most memorable photos from the original set.

4. Trivial personal interest filler on the backs. Who watches Orange Is The New Black? Or what about The Bachelorette? Or Adventure Time? Also, I'd like to know if more players today would list "Jesus Christ" as their personal hero than did in 1991 (11 players back then, including Alvin Davis, who listed his heroes as "Jesus Christ and Harold Reynolds").

5. No inserts. I realize that this last one is a tall order for a card company in the business of making money. So how about just a few parallels? Definitely needs a one-per-pack stamped, original buyback from the 1991 series. Then a six-per-box "Outtakes" parallel, which would be a photo variation. Finally, a much-harder-to-find "Negatives" parallel, which would show up once every few boxes, maybe like one or two per case.

Even without that pesky MLB license, this could be a nice, low-frills retro set that harks back to a simpler time when men wore a workingman's haircut, enjoyed shows like A Different World, Cheers, and Unsolved Mysteries, and collected porcelain figures of animals (well, maybe that was just you, Glenn Davis).

July 02, 2014

The Pleasure Principle


 Ricky Wright, 1987 Topps

Here is Ricky Wright. Here he is again:



Now, I know what you're thinking: What was the exact date that catcher Wes Westrum caught three fouls in one inning?



"Wait," you say, "that wasn't the date I was thinking. I feel like maybe West Westrum had accomplished this feat before, no?"



So yes, this baseball card has an EDITOR'S NOTE relative to a tidbit that is not at all relative to the card itself. Maybe we can talk about Ricky Wright, whose likeness and personal information provide the foundation for this Ricky Wright baseball card. Here he is again:



Now, I know what you're thinking: Ricky Wright sure looks like he could use some pleasurable time. How does Ricky Wright spend his pleasurable time?



Ricky Wright: (strums guitar) DAMN this is pleasurable.

Ricky Wright's wife: (from adjacent room) Whatcha doin', honey?

Wright: Awww, you know me - just enjoying some pleasurable time.

Wife: You know, I was thinking ... why don't you make your way over here and we can really enjoy some pleasurable time ...

Wright: (strums guitar) You makin' reference to intercourse?

Wife: (hangs head) Geez, Ricky. YES, I am referring to "intercourse." Thanks for taking all the playfulness out of it. Now get over here, please.

Wright: 'Preciate the offer, sweetheart, but I'm really trying to nail down this Creedence Clearwater rif. This is my pleasurab-

Wife: You know what, Ricky? You're always taking about your "pleasurable time" - your *** **** precious "pleasurable time." What about the six months every year you spend playing a little kid's game? Is that not pleasurable enough? What about MY pleasurable time, Ricky? Huh? WHAT ABOUT THAT? (slams door)

Wright: (strums guitar) B*tch done ruined my pleasurable time.

Wes Westrum: Ricky, can we talk?

Wright: Wes Westrum? What are you doing here? This is MY house.

Westrum: Listen, Ricky ... (sits on edge of futon, puts arm around Ricky) ... we all need some pleasurable time every now and then, no doubt. When I was playing, I liked to spend my off days gardening while humming show tunes.

Wright: ...

Westrum: But one thing I discovered? The best pleasurable time is true love. And I think you have that with whatsherface over there.

Wright: (strums guitar) Dang, you're right, West Westrum. How do you know so much about true love?

Westrum: Well, let's just say that TWICE I caught three foul balls in one inning.

Wright: ...

Westrum: ...

Wright: You makin' reference to intercourse?

Westrum: Yes.

June 04, 2014

Card Critic: 2014 Topps Archives

Before I get into what I think about the 2014 edition of Topps Archives, a little background on the three shifts in the hobby landscape that were needed to support a weird mishmash of a set like this. 

In the summer of 1989, political scientist Francis Fukuyama published an essay in The National Interest titled "The End of History?" Fukuyama argued that Western liberal democracy marked the end of humanity's social evolution and that, contrary to Marx, democracy would be the prevailing style of government going forward.

If we replace "Western liberal democracy" with "nostalgia," this thesis could also accurately describe the approach and mind-set of Topps in 1989. Nineteen eighty-nine saw Topps's re-introduction of the Bowman brand, complete with oversized cards, a la 1953. While oversized cards were used for only the inaugural set, the design choices put forth in 1989 Bowman catered to those nostalgic adult collectors, and set the company on the path to today's hobby landscape: obsessed with retro designs, with fewer and fewer original designs and new ideas.

I could write an entire essay on the design decisions (or lack thereof) of Bowman, but let's talk about Topps Archives instead. When the brand started in 1991, it was strictly as a reprint of the 1953 set, with a few cards tacked on at the end of the checklist of players not originally included in the set (Ted Williams, Henry Aaron, Lou Boudreau, etc.). The "Ultimate 1953" set was a big hit with collectors. (So much so that Archives would pop up again in 1994 with the "Ultimate 1954" set, with a Brooklyn Dodgers set in 1995, and with mixed-years sets in 2001, and 2002, before disappearing for another 10 years.)

But while Topps was using Archives as a reprint brand for baseball (and football), the company took the innovative route and lent the Archives name to a basketball card set that predicted the direction of the brand today: a smaller set using legacy designs and heavy with contemporary stars.

The set was called "Topps Archives: The Rookies," featuring NBA players shown in their rookie years, using the baseball card designs from those years. This was significant because Topps did not create basketball cards for 10 seasons (1982-83 to 1991-92), thus missing out on a decade's worth of star rookies. I really liked this set; its concept, designs, checklist, and price per pack appealed to me as a collector (and the fact that you can still find boxes of unopened wax for under $15 is pretty cool as well).

The current iteration of Archives could not exist without a third nostalgia-tinted brand: Topps All-Time Fan Favorites. Released from 2003–2005, these sets featured popular regional favorites from the last 50 years—not necessarily each team's biggest stars. Designs included every year of the Topps canon, from 1952 on. And while the checklist got more and more tired with each passing year, the brand concept was fresh (though it did start to border on my parody idea of an Archives set comprised entirely of commons).

This combination—a yen for nostalgia, legacy designs, and a mix of contemporary and retired players on a shorter checklist—is what makes a set like Topps Archives tick.

But yes, it's a hodgepodge. The checklist is a mix of today's stars and rookies and retired Hall of Famers. The set's got a bit of history for younger collectors who don't know the legacy designs, it's got parallels (like every other Topps product), and it's got short-printed hot-stuff rookies (Masahiro Tanaka and Jose Abreu).

It's also devoid of original thought, or new ideas, or really any ideas that go outside the box. And if you don't like the designs included in the set, you're probably not going to want to collect it. The brand has also, in its three years of existence in this form (2012–2014, so far), been plagued with lousy paper stock, odd inserts (Karate Kid villain autographs, anyone?), photography shared with other sets, and eerily similar checklists from year to year.

But did I mention it has on-card autographs? Of current stars and retired fan favorites? I never wanted a Shawon Dunston reprint 1990 Topps card, but I do cherish the auto'd Dunston reprint I got in a pack of 2012 Archives. But with 2014 Topps Archives pushing $100 a box, I hope I would find an autograph of someone better than Shawon.

This year's crop of inserts presents a nice mix of designs; my favorites are the 1969 Topps Deckle (what, no short-printed Jim Wynn or Joe Foy or their more recent equivalents Ron Gant and Alex Gordon?), and 1987 Topps Future Stars. Both of these inserts will fit nicely as I build mega master sets for both of these years (1969 Topps and 1987 Topps, respectively).

And it's here that Topps's dumpster dive into the past connects with me. I'm actively collecting cards that use a particular design to create a "mega master set." I'm doing this for a handful of years: 1965, 1969, 1976, 1978, 1986, and 1987 Topps. It adds a new wrinkle to collecting these sets and makes newer brands like All-Time Fan Favorites, Heritage, and even Archives worth paying attention to.

Have we reached the end of original thought in the hobby? Well, nostalgia is the prevailing selling point for many, if not virtually all, of the new baseball card sets in 2014. Gypsy Queen, Allen and Ginter, Heritage, Archives, Turkey Red—all of these sets are based on old designs. Topps flagship base-card designs have been interchangeable since 2010. Bowman? Ditto. And inserts in these flagship sets hark back to the legacy of each brand.

Don't let your set be a victim of repetitive photography!

So while 2014 Archives lacks the new idea to make it a memorable set, that's not a surprising development. It would be truly surprising if it did present something new.

May 25, 2014

A Few Great Things About 2013 Topps Heritage Minor Leagues

I recently purchased a box of 2013 Topps Heritage Minor Leagues. While I was not a fan of the Major-League edition, I am a fan of this version. The lightweight, too-smooth card stock and low-resolution photography don't bother me here. I like that I got practically the entire base set, not to mention a smattering of inserts, from my one box. Here are a few other great things about this set:

Rio Ruiz needs to change his name to "Rio Bandita." Amiright? 
1) The team names are not in a uniform color. Now, I have not heard of many of these teams. And their Major-League affiliations? Forget it. But it doesn't matter. My Heritage-programmed brain saw two cards of players on the Quad Cities River Bandits (the Houston Astros' Class-A affiliate in the Midwest League), each with "River Bandits" in a different color, and immediately thought one was a variation. Once I saw that this was true for many other teams, my love for it increased. It was not a variation! It was just a quirk of the design to add a little spice into the set. Awesome.

2) There are many teams represented, and not just at the same level. Granted, the set is supposed to highlight the 225 best players (or most hyped) minor leaguers in the system, but it's still fresh to open a pack and get a handful of players from different levels. Also, some of the team names are just ridiculous. Drive? Power? Storm? C'mon. At least at seems some thought went into "Lug Nuts" and "Blue Rocks," although both are smirk-ready for a bus full of 19-year-old jocks.

3) Each player smacks of potential, upside, whatever you want to call it. Not every one of these guys will star at the Major-League level. Heck, most of these probably won't even get to the Major Leagues. But that's what makes a set like this great: You can smell the optimism when you open the pack.

4) The traditional Topps "magazine-cover" design of the 1964 base set really works for some of these cards. They look like how a classic baseball card should look. You know what I mean? This card of Michael Choice is what I'm talking about. Actually, many of the cards achieve this effect, but those with bats leaving the frame work the best.


5) I counted four sons of ex-Major Leaguers on the base set checklist who shared their dads' famous names. And then there's Mike Piazza. Born in 1986, he's too old to be the son of Mike Piazza, right? This is some "Baseball's Two Hal Smiths" territory here, folks.

6) If I have a son, I will definitely give him a weird name. Because if today's crop of 20-year-olds is any indication, an off-the-wall name will give him better than a fifty-fifty chance of achieving professional sports stardom—or at least a shot at making the cast of a reboot of American Gladiators.

Finally, best card of the set: Joe Panik, Flying Squirrels. Let's be honest: If a flying squirrel was coming at you, I'd bet the first thing you'd think of is "panic."

May 22, 2014

The Tonic


Jay Howell, 1989 Score


Jay was just the tonic the Dodgers’ bullpen needed in 1988.



Tommy Lasorda: Our bullpen sucks!



Dodgers’ bullpen coach: If only we could find the right tonic.



Tommy Lasorda: (eats three pounds of pasta) (uses bathroom) (takes nap) (comes back to bullpen) Well?



Dodgers’ bullpen coach: Well what? Did you find the tonic?



Tommy Lasorda: Me? I was going to ask you the same thing. I’m the *** **** manager! I don’t find the tonic! I just play the tonic! Who’s responsible for finding the tonic around here?



Dodgers’ bullpen coach: I think Fred is.



Tommy Lasorda: (grabs bullpen phone) Fred? We need some *** **** bullpen tonic!



Dodgers’ bullpen coach: I think that phone just goes to the dugout.



He gave them the superb closer they had been missing in recent years after being traded from the Athletics at the end of ’87.



Fred: Everyone, meet Jay Howell, our new tonic.


Dodgers’ bullpen coach: Hello, Jay. 


Tommy Lasorda:


Fred: I firmly believe Jay is the superb closer we’ve been missing in recent years after being traded from the Athletics at the end of ’87.



Tommy Lasorda: (jarred awake) What the hell was that sentence, Fred?



Fred: I just …



Dodgers’ bullpen coach: You went from Jay being the subject to the Dodgers being the subject back to Jay being the subject.



Tommy Lasorda: You made it sound like we’ve been missing a superb closer ever since we—the *** **** Dodgers—were traded from the A’s. Shit, Fred.



Fred: Listen, dickheads. I’m paid to go get tonics, not master English.



Jay Howell: Can I like, start warming up or whatever?



Lasorda: You shut your pie hole, tonic boy!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Oh, hey, hi there. Sorry about that post. I know, it was dumber than ushe. Anyway, I wanted to let you all know that I wrote a new book (which, to the chagrin of very few, partially explains my lack of posting on this wonderful blog of late). It's called The Man in the Garlic Tuxedo and you can find out more about it here and maybe, I don't know, buy it? here. Like the previous book, it contains nothing about baseball cards, but maybe you will like it anyway because it is, I have heard, funny and good and nice. Please buy it. I am not good at promotion. Thank you.


May 21, 2014

2014 Topps Heritage Red Herrings

Though it's been off primetime network TV for a few years now, Law & Order can still be felt in pop culture. A great example is the hype and trickery surrounding 2014 Topps Heritage. A lot of noise has been made about the many hard-to-find variations in this set—found in three tiers: action, logo, and the mega-rare "throwback" uniform—so much so that collectors have become attuned to looking for them. To make things more difficult, Topps threw a handful of red herrings into the base set.

Like the slumlord who shows up at the courthouse in minute 35 can't possibly be the murderer (there are 25 minutes left in the episode, for crying out loud), these red herrings look like the variations we've all been chasing, but in fact are just these players' regular base cards.

Below are five red herrings, with a little explanation.

Derek Norris, Oakland Athletics - There are two throwback uniform variations featuring A's players—and both are shown wearing yellow jerseys—but neither of them is named Derek Norris.


Ricky Nolasco, Minnesota Twins - The action variation set features 25 of the best and brightest in the game, guys like Miguel Cabrera, Joey Votto, Max Scherzer, Yu Darvish, and Clayton Kershaw. To make things a little more interesting, there are at three regular, base set cards that also feature action photos: Kevin Gregg, John Lackey, and Ricky Nolasco. These three are not part of the action variation checklist.


Marcell Ozuna, Miami Marlins - Cards with logo variations are a bit harder to notice, but again, they feature just top stars of the game. Guys like Buster Posey, Joe Mauer, Robinson Cano, Andrew McCutchen, and Giancarlo Stanton. But it's the fact that Stanton is included as a logo variation that makes the logos on the other Marlins in the base set interesting. Some are shown with a white M with "Miami" below, and some are shown, like Ozuna, with a black M and "Miami" below. Stanton's logo variation has just a white M, no "Miami."



Ryan Ludwick, Cincinnati Reds - If you're an avid Topps Heritage fan like me, you spent more than your fair share of time studying the sell sheets for this year's set. And if you did, you'll remember that the throwback uniform variation of Joey Votto was prominently featured. What make's it a throwback uniform? Votto's cap's logo is the same old-timey "Running Man" patch seen here on Ludwick's sleeve. Yes, the logo is featured on other Reds' players' base cards as well, but no other card has it featured front and center. Well, except for the mega, ultra rare throwback uniform variation of the team's biggest star.



Adam Eaton, Chicago White Sox - Eaton is not one of the game's brightest young stars. But his teammate Chris Sale is. So what gives? Well, although Eaton is definitely shown here in a throwback uniform, he's a red herring: it's his regular base card. This is important because it's a cue to collectors to be on the lookout for another player who is shown in the same throwback uni style (Sale).

May 09, 2014

UPDATED 5/9: Which Cards Made the 2014 Topps "Top 50 Rookies" Buyback Checklist?

2014 Topps is here and the past few weeks have seen multiple eBay sales of buyback rookie redemptions. The only thing is, Topps hasn't publicized which rookie cards have been included in their top 50. It begs the question: Which cards should make the "Top 50 Rookies" buyback checklist?

Here's my shortlist. I updated it to include recent eBay sales prices:

eBay Sale $Sold/Unsold?
11952Willie Mays$2,500.00Unsold
21952Mickey Mantle
31952Ed Mathews
41954Al Kaline
51954Ernie Banks
61954Henry Aaron
71955Sandy Koufax
81955Roberto Clemente
91955Harmon Killebrew
101956Luis Aparicio
111957Jim Bunning
121957Brooks Robinson
131957Frank Robinson
141957Don Drysdale
151958Orlando Cepeda
161958Roger Maris
171959Bob Gibson
181960Carl Yastrzemski
191960Willie McCovey
201961Billy Williams
211961Juan Marichal
221962Lou Brock
231962Gaylord Perry
241963Willie Stargell
251963Pete Rose
261964Phil Niekro
271965Steve Carlton
281965Joe Morgan
291965Tony Perez
301965Jim Hunter
311966Ferguson Jenkins
321966Jim Palmer
331967Rod Carew
341967Tom Seaver
351968Johnny Bench
361968Nolan Ryan$899.00Unsold
371969Reggie Jackson
381972Carlton Fisk
391973Mike Schmidt$127.50Sold
401974Dave Winfield
411975Jim Rice$46.98Sold
421975Gary Carter
431975Robin Yount
441975George Brett
451976Dennis Eckersley
461978Eddie Murray$22.49Sold
471979Ozzie Smith
481980Rickey Henderson
491982Cal Ripken Jr.
501983Tony Gwynn
1984Darryl Strawberry$7.50Sold
1984Dwight Gooden$36.01Sold
1990Frank Thomas$51.00Sold

Update 5/9/14 - Am I missing something here? Why is a Frank Thomas rookie card—usually $4 max—selling for $51?!? Seriously, what is wrong with this picture? The thing about all of these newer cards being included in this buyback program is that it means a more hallowed card from the Fifties (or Sixties or Seventies) is not included. Thomas I understand. Darryl Strawberry I do not.

Update 3/12/14 - Not only is it interesting that Dwight Gooden is considered a top-50 rookie, but that it sold for $36.01! If this is his card from 1984 Topps, we're talking about a $3 card, at best. Why would you pay 12 times that much for the same card? So with Gooden and Strawberry in the top 50, my thinking now is that a couple from the 1960s didn't make the cut.

Update 2/19/14 - It looks like Darryl Strawberry's 1984 Topps rookie made the cut. A redemption card recently sold for $7.50 on eBay (2/17/14). This means that (at least) one of the cards listed above is not included as a buyback.

Bolded entries are cards that have been offered for sale on eBay, confirming they're being offered as part of this buyback insert.


Taking into consideration that these cards are buybacks, that would lead me to believe that they'll all be vintage, and that Topps wouldn't go to great lengths to buy back a 1989 Topps Traded Ken Griffey Jr. card and release it as part of this set, even if you could make a legitimate case that Griffey's rookie is one of the company's top 50.

"Rookie" is a tricky word here, though, as Mays's and Mantle's 1952 cards are not technically rookies, as both players' rookies are in the 1951 Bowman set. That said, my list does not include Bowman cards; if we're including Bowman, then Albert Pujols's 2001 Bowman Chrome autographed rookie would definitely be included above.

Another point is whether Topps includes Pete Rose's rookie, or if it opts to go with someone safer, like Don Mattingly or Bert Blyleven. As a collector, you'd hope that they'd include Rose, as it's the right thing to do. But remember how Topps didn't mention Rose by name as the all-time hits leader on the backs of cards in 2013's flagship set? I distinctly remember the company line being that their action was the "right thing to do" (I'm paraphrasing here). So when it comes to Rose, the "right thing to do" has one meaning inside the walls of One Whitehall and a decidedly different meaning in the rest of the world.

It will be interesting to see whose rookies are included in the official checklist, and what sort of hoopla this set will generate.

Another update: What's also interesting about this buyback is how much these cards are reselling for. I think you can chalk the high Rice price up to a newness factor, and that the buyback redemption was pretty much unexplained at the time of the sale. I can't think of any other reason why someone would pay 5x the going rate for a Jim Rice rookie card. (In fact, the Schmidt went for about double the going rate for an ungraded version of this card.) The Ryan has been offered three times with no purchase: $1,499; $999; and $899, though all as a fixed-price "Buy it Now." The Murray, Rice, and Schmidt cards have been offered as straight auctions.

One final thing: It has not been advertised if the cards received will be raw or graded. I'm pretty sure Topps would announce the cards as graded if it were the case, so if the cards received are raw, what condition will they be in? Did someone just pay nearly $47 for a Jim Rice rookie card in very good condition?

April 21, 2014

Imagination Reclamation

We take our custom cards seriously around here. At one point we had a whole separate page of this blog dedicated to custom cards from around the Web. And while that page went the way of much on the Internet, our love of customs remains. Here are a few of our favorites we've created over the years, and don't forget to check out our new page presenting the 1978 Topps "Traded" set all in one place...

















March 19, 2014

Score one for America

When two things as American as baseball and America combine forces to honor our armed forces, the result is something so glorious it exceeds the combined sum of their American parts.





This is the American flag. But it is also a baseball card. You can tell it’s a baseball card because of all the America on it, not because of the baseball, which is invisible.

Score, the company that created this American flag card—this Ameriflard—was not going to stand idly by and let the flag speak for itself. Nor would it utilize the back of this card to list the statistics of the most American baseball player (this guy, obvs) or of America herself (DID YOU KNOW? America was signed by scout John Hancock after posting a perfect WAR in 1776). No. Score was going to play an active part in the effort.


1991 Score



Score’s mom: Score? Are you asleep in there, honey?


Score: (dressed in pajamas and night cap, kneeling by bed, which is covered in bald eagle sheets) Not yet, Mommy! Just praying for world peace.

Score’s mom: Good boy. I’ll bring up some milk in a minute.

Score: WARM IT UP FIRST THIS TIME, DANG.

Guys, let me make something clear: I love America. Truly I am blessed to have been born here—I doubt I’d be able to have a non-job contributing to a baseball card-based blog in, say, Micronesia—and I revere our armed forces. This is the truth. But also: what is this card?

I had originally written a more serious post attempting to explore this topic—paying homage to our troops in ridiculous, self-serving ways—and ran it past Ben, who shed some light on the history of baseball card companies’ military complex. The dialogue made me feel as though I shouldn’t curtail my first instinct at viewing this card again, which was: make fun of this.

As Ben pointed out, Score could have put some real effort into this, and made cards for soldiers, generals, or anyone on the front lines who could have become an identifiable face of the war effort for young kids. Instead they stuck a flag on the front and, on the back, claimed that they, Score, a subsidiary of Pinnacle Brands, was praying.

I can’t decide if this card is a Veteran’s Day mattress blowout sale—a marketing scheme masked as dignified patriotism (and, in this case, devout spiritualism)—or a moderately genuine but completely lackluster attempt to give a nod to our troops. Either way it sucks. That is all.